more about me... some history
 

Born in Oosterhout (NB) in 1983. A cheerful, happy child who always smiled at people and could also observe calmly. As a child and during my secondary school period I was always drawing, painting and crafting. I put my school books under my pillow in the hope that the material would fly into my brain during the night. Unfortunately that did not happen and it was a good thing that I set the alarm clock at 5.30 am before a test or even an exam, so that I would still be prepared. 

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VWO became HAVO and there it became clear that my so-called preference for economics was not there. Where I enjoyed the most and could be completely myself, were the art lessons with Mrs. de Groot. She inspired me to be myself and to express it through my work. It was also very nice to experience how the school supported me to apply for the Design Academy in Eindhoven. At the time I was the first student of the Mgr. Frencken College to try that. 

I could hardly believe it; I was accepted! Beforehand, however, I did not know what kind of special world I would end up in there. I could already think ‘out of the box’, but I was also very insecure and my urge for analysis and designs that ‘must be right’ in my eyes did not fully correspond with the academy’s policy at that time. Three intense years.

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During that period I had fallen in love with a boy who had approached me via the internet. The first few weeks were fantastic, I was overloaded with poems and flowers and unfortunately I was 'trapped'. After a period of happiness, there were arguments and unfortunately mental and physical violence. I felt very alone during that period. I had lost all control over myself and didn't dare telling anyone what was really going on. I kept putting on my cheerful mask and covering up the bruises and lying about how I had pain in my back, for example. That pain was caused, for example, by being thrown across the room. I was always on the point of leaving and when I dared to run out of his house with my bag and all, a devilish voice came and sent me back. Eventually my eyes slowly opened and during a summer in California, where he was with my family and manipulatively overstepped mine and their boundaries, it was my uncle who stood up for me in a specific situation that opened my eyes. This was the beginning of a way out, but unfortunately it took a while. Finally I dared to break up after a skiing holiday with him and my dear father. It was a foggy first day and I decided to skip the afternoon. He and my father did go. 'Are you staying together?', I asked. An hour later my father called to say that he was in the emergency room. His arm had been dislocated after he had fallen in the fog. I asked, 'where is X then?' He had gone immediately the other way out of the elevator as if it was nothing, so they did not stay together. When I confronted X that evening in the bathroom, while my father was in the room, he laughed at me (again) and forced me to do things in the bathroom that I did not want at that moment. Way beyond my limits. This unfortunately, but finally, was the deciding factor. As soon as everyone was safely home, I called him to tell him that our relationship was over. Luckily he accepted that.​

When I finally dared to tell my family what happened during our relationship, a year after we broke up, because I was incredibly ashamed, I had a lot of help from them (a few years later EMDR therapy). 

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This is a short summary of a very traumatic experience in my young life. It also shaped me into who I am today. I sometimes talk about it when it is a moment to talk about it, but I have now decided to share it here, because it made me the woman, who I am today. I have forgiven myself, not him yet.

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I quit the Design Academy. I would have preferred to travel, but after careful consultation with the home front I went to the Pabo in Eindhoven and after my propaedeutic year I was able to teach at school (PDS trajectory) and do my theory through self-education. Ideal for me, that freedom suited me and so I was able to complete the training in three instead of four years.

I had now graduated as a teacher for primary education, but unfortunately there were few to no permanent jobs in education at that time. You can't imagine that now. Through a friend I came to work at a digital printing company and within a week I was placed in another position there, provided with a permanent contract. That allowed me to move into a rental apartment in Eindhoven.

The commercial profession suited me and I continued in that. Especially the contact with different people and companies, the innovation in the graphic industry in combination with the sustainability issues kept arousing my interest. During this period I decided that I wanted to live closer to my family and I bought my first house in Oosterhout.

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After almost nine years at Big Impact, I felt that I was 'standing still'. There were no more opportunities for growth. I changed jobs. A job at an advertising agency, closer to home in Breda. During that period my old trauma surfaced and after a push from my dear parents I went to the doctor. I was quickly referred to an external therapist and started EMDR therapy with her. I found this very scary and only shared this with a few people. I wanted to give myself a present, because I had started this process and always wanted to go surfing! As a little girl when we were visiting family in California I dreamed away seeing surfers in the sea at Santa Cruz. I booked a surf holiday to Fuerteventura. A hostel...not really my thing, still not, but I did meet some really nice people there and the surfing and the sea gave me new life energy!​

I soon felt that I did not fit in with the advertising agency where I worked and I looked for something else. As if the universe heard me, I was scouted by a digital printing company from Graz, Austria and I started working more internationally, a remote position with a lot of traveling in Europe. An incredibly educational time. This beautiful job with accompanying salary ensured that I could move from Oosterhout to the coast during this period in time. 

My parents' roots are in The Hague and Voorburg and that's how I always felt a bit at home here. My grandmother always said 'The Hague is such a nice city, because the wind blows the city clean'. Scheveningen and preferably as close to the sea as possible, that became the goal and so it happened. I bought a really nice fisherman's house 300 meters from the sea. Twice as small as my house in Oosterhout at the time, so that meant cleaning up! Both literally and figuratively ;). The first year in Scheveningen was really cool and also weird. I was very busy with my work, had a boyfriend in Paris and tried to build a life in Scheveningen. I actually felt very lonely, while at the same time Scheveningen felt like a warm bath. And that by the cold North Sea.
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Then something absurd happened; a virus called ‘Corona’ came. Something new, unknown and the compulsion to stay where you are. Forced to be at home. I fell back into old patterns, my trauma also returned and my job came under pressure. I immediately set my boundaries and after four months there was a settlement agreement and I ended up in unemployment benefits. Immediately busy with coaching courses and job interviews, but something in me had changed. 

Because I simply did not know what to do with my life, I first started doing things that I always wanted to do or had not done for a long time. For example, I went swimming in the sea every day, I started in November and swam through the winter. In December I suddenly picked up a pen, paper and bought paint again. I drew an abstract lily and painted it patiently. I think this became a project of a week or two and it felt so good. I could lose myself for eight hours in a row and be happy; my thoughts became calmer.

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I also realized and felt at that time that there was still a lot of unprocessed grief in me. A good friend recommended a coach (who I still see every now and then) from his network and I went for it. It became intensive months with sadness and joy and I worked hard to embrace myself and my talent. In the spring of 2021, I bought with my saved money from selling on Marktplaats; 'Jack'; a Ford Tourneo. I converted it into a mini camper together with my father.

That same summer I made a (surf)trip through France and mostly Spain on my own. I was on the road for almost two months, with more than 5000 km driven. Destination unknown, but as close to the coast as possible! Mostly alone, but sometimes in the company of friends or family, who were also on the road. An adventure never to be forgotten, where I often encountered myself, but was also so proud that I dared to take on this adventure alone!

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It is now 2025. It was a search to find the right match in terms of work with my new way of life. I worked for a signage company for a while, but that did not match. Then I went back to education. A 'group 6' and that is how I came across the company LessonUp. I sent an open application and now I work four days a week as a Partnership Manager for this cool company! The other days of the week I try to draw as much as possible or be in nature. Life is something beautiful and every day something can come our way that changes the route. I am grateful for the life I have now and I am always curious about what else there is in store for me! Vive la vie. 

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NB. You can find more about my work history on LinkedIn.​​​​