STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART

STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART · A3 29,7x42cm (11.7x16.5 inch) 
 
Original ink pen drawing
Size: A3 29,7x42cm (11.7x16.5 inch)
Material: 200 grs Daler Rowney Fine Grain Heavyweight Paper
Technique: Indigraph ink pen, touch of gold with Lascaux golden paint
 
My heart is my compass. I sometimes get pushed back by 'the universe'. For example, I fall off my bike when it’s icy, or hit my head really hard against a beam, literally! The pain at such a moment goes through my whole body, but I breathe.

I get up and realize that I kept going for a while, as if I am still Miss Sunshine, not carrying any sadness or pain with me, even if it is ok to be there. Then it suddenly comes in waves of tears and I have no choice but to let it be.
The great thing about such a moment is that it is often a moment of growth (although that is difficult to believe at the time itself haha). After such a moment I have learned more to take and feel what the things in life are that I really want and how I am going to achieve them and what is holding me back. I go into nature, close or in the sea, as much as possible.
The feeling is there and is allowed to be there. I do the things I do straight from the heart, certainly not perfect, but always with a lot of emotion.
Then there often comes a time when I have to laugh out loud at something trivial and I know 'ah, I'm back!'. On to the next chapter in my book of life, with a big smile and sometimes big tears (also tears of joy).

A piece of music "Sit around the fire" by John Hopkins that really appeals to me has the following lyrics:
 
Beyond all polarities, I am
Let the judgments and opinions of the mind
Be judgments and opinions of the mind
And you exist behind that
Ah so, ah so
It's really time for you to see through
The absurdity of your own predicament
You aren't who you thought you were
You just aren't that person
And in this very lifetime
You can know it
Right now
The real work you have to do
Is in the privacy of your own heart
All of the external forms are lovely
But the real work
Is your inner connection
If you're quiet when you meditate
If you truly open your heart
Just quiet your mind
Open your heart
Quite the mind, open the heart
How do you quiet the mind? You meditate
How do you open the heart?
You start to love that which you can love
And just keep expanding it
You love a tree
You love a river
You love a leaf
You love a flower
You love a cat
You love a human
But go deeper and deeper into that love
'Til you love that
Which is the source of the light behind all of it
Behind all of it
You don't worship the gate
You go into the inner temple
Everything in you that you don't need
You can let go of
You don't need loneliness
For you couldn't possibly be alone
You don't need greed
Because you already have it all
You don't need doubt
Because you already know
The confusion is saying
"I don't know"
But the minute you are quiet
You find out that in truth you do know
For in you, you know
Plane after plane will open to you
I want to know who I really am
As if in each of us
There once was a fire
And for some of us
There seem as if there are only ashes now
But when we dig in the ashes
We find one ember
And very gently we fan that ember
Blow on it, it gets brighter
And from that ember we rebuild the fire
Only thing that's important is that ember
That's what you and I are here to celebrate
That though we've lived our life totally involved in the world
We know
We know that we're of the spirit
The ember gets stronger
Flame starts to flicker a bit
And pretty soon you realize that all we're going to do for eternity
Is sit around the fire